en route; 
".. A person deserting you triggers a flurry of emotions. Frustration with them for parting ways. Disappointment in yourself for not being more open, or interesting enough to stick with. Empathy toward them because you know that you’re quite the handful. It’s a very disappointing, confidence-killing mixture of feelings and sensations that take a strong mind to recover from.
Anyone who feels the need to protect his or herself feels so for a reason. Ultimately the motivation for defense is not wanting to be judged. Whether it’s your past, your present conflicts, family business, or some other situation, the general fear is that our secrets will condemn us. That this is lose-lose. That even if we tell you, it’ll go terribly. That no matter what, the end result will be regret. Because someone will either get sick of our shutdown ways, or come to find that they hate the person we truly are, and the experiences we’ve had/are currently having."
- Christopher Hudspeth, It Sucks Being Guarded &Difficult to Love
it's been a good(?) week.
meet ups with good friends &heart to heart talks over drinks or coffee really help to make things better, and taking time each night to read really makes me happier. (and the question mark stays there because it honestly hasn't been a very good week, but it hasn't been a very bad week either.)
perhaps all i need is sleep.
happy hari raya puasa to all my muslim friends &colleagues! (:
enjoy the long weekend!
